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How to Be There for Someone with Anxiety

  • Writer: Bright Light Counseling Center
    Bright Light Counseling Center
  • Dec 3
  • 3 min read

Supporting someone who lives with anxiety can feel confusing at times. You may want to help, but not know what to say or do. Anxiety looks different for everyone, and what feels supportive to one person may feel overwhelming to another. Still, there are some clear and compassionate ways to show up for someone struggling with anxiety that can make a genuine difference.


Understand What Anxiety Really Is


Anxiety is not simply stress or worry. It involves persistent thoughts, physical symptoms, and emotional reactions that can interfere with daily life. For some people, it shows up as constant overthinking or fear of judgment. For others, it appears as restlessness, irritability, or difficulty sleeping. Recognizing that anxiety is not a choice helps you respond with empathy rather than frustration.


Woman in a cafe on the phone, looking stressed, laptop open. Sunlit, wood and plant décor. Notebook and cup on the table.

You do not need to fully understand every detail of their experience. Instead, aim to listen and acknowledge what they are feeling without trying to fix it right away. Phrases like “That sounds really hard” or “I can see why that feels overwhelming” can go a long way.


Avoid Dismissing or Minimizing


Telling someone to “calm down” or “stop worrying” can unintentionally make them feel worse.

These statements dismiss the seriousness of what they feel and suggest that their anxiety is something they should easily control. While you might mean to help, these comments often lead to shame or isolation.


Instead, offer validation. Try saying, “I know this feels tough right now, but I am here with you.” Sometimes, knowing they are not alone is more helpful than any solution you could offer.


Learn What Helps and What Does Not


Ask the person directly what support looks like to them. Some people appreciate problem-solving or practical suggestions, while others need quiet company and reassurance. For instance, they might prefer a short walk together or a partner to run errands with instead of a long talk about what caused their anxiety.


Learning their preferences shows that you respect their needs. It also prevents misunderstandings. If you are unsure, it is completely fine to say, “Would you like me to listen, or do you want help finding a way forward?”


Encourage Coping, Not Avoidance


It can be tempting to help someone avoid what triggers their anxiety, but this often reinforces the fear. Gently encourage them to face anxiety-provoking situations at their own pace. Celebrate progress, no matter how small.


Encourage healthy coping strategies like deep breathing, mindfulness, journaling, or seeking professional help. You can even offer to join them in practicing relaxation techniques. Knowing they have your support makes it easier to take those steps.


Take Care of Yourself, Too


Supporting someone with anxiety can be emotionally draining. It is important to maintain your own balance and boundaries. You cannot pour from an empty cup, and your ability to stay calm can help model stability for them.


Make time for your own self-care, hobbies, and rest. If you find yourself feeling helpless or frustrated, remember that their anxiety is not your fault and that professional help may be necessary.


Encourage Professional Support


If their anxiety seems to interfere with daily life or relationships, gently suggest anxiety counseling. You can frame it as a way to gain new tools, not as something “wrong” with them. Therapy can help individuals identify patterns, build confidence, and learn techniques to manage symptoms more effectively.


Many people feel nervous about seeking counseling, so your encouragement and reassurance can make the process less intimidating. Offer to help research providers or accompany them for the first session for moral support.


A Next Step


By learning how to support a person with anxiety in practical, nonjudgmental ways, you strengthen your connection and help them feel seen and safe. If you or someone you care about is struggling with anxiety, seeing a therapist can make a big difference. Reach out to schedule anxiety counseling with our office today and learn how to navigate these challenges with confidence.




Disclaimer: Our content is on and related to the topic of mental health. The content is general information that may or may not apply to you. The content is not a substitute for professional services. This website does not contain professional advice, nor is any professional-client relationship established with you through your use of this website.

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