The Questions About Therapy Nobody Thinks to Ask

Bright Light Counseling Center
Jan 15
3 min read

You've probably googled "how to find a therapist" or "how much does therapy cost." But there are other questions... ones that don't make it into search bars or first sessions, that matter just as much. Here are the things we wish more people knew to ask.

Can I refer people I know?

Yes. Actually, we encourage it. You know how your therapist works, what makes sense for you might help someone close to you too.

That said, when a therapist works with multiple people in the same family or friend group, things get tricky. Confidentiality matters. What you share stays private, even if your sister is also a client.

Your therapist has to balance fairness and transparency while keeping clear boundaries. It's doable, but it requires care.

View from a car interior, driver and passenger on a rural road, lined with stone walls and greenery. Houses and mountains in the background.

What if I move out of state?

The short answer is a strong maybe!

Therapists are licensed state-by-state. Some get licensed in multiple states, especially if they work near state lines or have clients who travel. There are also licensing compacts that allow some clinicians to practice in participating states.

If you are planning a move to a new state in the future, you travel out of state for work, or you move between states for school, it is a great idea to find therapists licensed in the states you will be moving between before starting treatment. This will save the trouble of having to find a new therapist when you move and it will make sure you don’t need to share your life story with a new person each time you move!

How do I know this will actually work?

The relationship between you and your therapist is one of the most significant factors in the success of therapy. Feeling heard, understood, and accepted by your therapist creates a space where you can open up and be vulnerable. This relationship is often referred to as the “therapeutic alliance,” and it’s just as important as the techniques a therapist might use.

It's not about liking the same movies or having tons in common. It's about feeling safe enough to be vulnerable, to look at the hard stuff, to try new ways of thinking or coping. When that foundation is there, the work becomes possible.

What if my therapist makes a mistake?

They will. Because therapists are human too.

Two individuals seated; one holds a clipboard, in a counseling session. The setting is a bright, white room. One person's hands are clasped.

We're trained to manage our reactions, but we still get overwhelmed. We still have bad days. We forget things. We say something that doesn't land right or miss what you're really trying to say.

And honestly? That's part of what makes us helpful. Being human means we can actually relate to what you're going through. The best therapists aren't perfect - they're just present. They own their mistakes, repair what needs repairing, and keep showing up.

What if I don't have anything to talk about in a session?

This happens more often than you'd think. Some weeks are just quieter. You're doing okay, nothing major happened, and you're wondering if you're wasting time.

You're not. These sessions can actually be useful. They're a chance to notice patterns, celebrate small wins, or dig into something that's been sitting in the background. Your therapist can help guide the conversation if you're feeling stuck.

And if you're consistently feeling like there's nothing to talk about, that's worth mentioning too. It might mean you're in a good place and ready to space out sessions. Or it might mean something else is going on. Either way, it's information.

What if I want to stop or switch therapists?

First, figure out what's not working. Is it their style? Do you feel stuck? Misunderstood? Naming the issue helps you decide what to do next.

Then talk to them about it. A good therapist won't take it personally, they'll see it as part of the work. Sometimes those conversations actually strengthen things or lead to helpful changes.

But if it's still not right, it's okay to leave. You're not failing. A good therapist will support your decision, even if it means ending your work together. Your wellbeing comes first.

Ready to get started? At Bright Light Counseling Center, we're here to help you navigate therapy, whether you're just starting out or working through questions like these. We offer individual therapy online and in person in Chicago and Austin, with online services available across Illinois, Texas, Indiana, Colorado, Wisconsin, Virginia, and Florida. Reach out today to find the right fit for you.

Disclaimer: Our content is on and related to the topic of mental health. The content is general information that may or may not apply to you. The content is not a substitute for professional services. This website does not contain professional advice, nor is any professional-client relationship established with you through your use of this website.